


Relationship Issues

by HerbertBest



Category: Game Grumps
Genre: Boredom, Cat in the Hat Parodies, Conjuring, Crack, Demon Summoning, Humor, M/M, Magic, Relationship Issues, Romance, commitment issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-01
Updated: 2017-12-01
Packaged: 2019-02-09 02:42:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12878469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HerbertBest/pseuds/HerbertBest
Summary: Danny is a decent boyfriend, most of the time.  Basically.He does at least keep the toilet seat down, anyway.Demonic summoning, however - that pushed the envelope just a little too far...





	Relationship Issues

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Fallenandscatteredpetals](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fallenandscatteredpetals/gifts).



Danny is a pretty good boyfriend, all things considering. 

He tries not to bring Crab People home with him from the future when he goes exploring, for one. For another, he’s pretty good at trying to remember Dan’s name in bed. For a third, for a guy who looks just like him , he tries to make it Not Weird (“You always wanted to bang your clone, right, Dan?”). And for a guy who does nothing all day, he is a pretty considerate and consistently decent lover. He cares about Dan’s pleasure, his general happiness. He’s even proud of Dan’s success as a singer, wearing his name, acting like him – experiencing the success that tended to elude him when he was seen as nothing more than a ‘Dan Avidan imitator’. Danny’s gone on for him more than once. 

That’s why Ninja Sex Party’s no longer welcome to play Saint Louis. 

So Danny isn’t perfect, and Dan is accepting of that fact because he’s imperfect himself. Sure, Danny’s dangerous, and sometimes a little bit edgy to the point of almost frightening Dan with his lazy desperation to get laid. Maybe he’s weird when it came to commitment – just as weird as Dan himself can be. Maybe he only lasted three minutes in bed every night - it’s not like Dan’s libido’s that wild these days anyway. 

…Maybe Dan’s getting a little desperate, as middle age sets in and his bed gets emptier, but he’s never going to say as much to Danny.

There’s just one fatal flaw in Danny’s code, the fly in his ointment, the mistake that lingers like a bad smell hovering over their relationship.

Danny is very, very easily bored. 

At his best, he could sit down and write a symphony. It’s like trying to keep a puppy entertained when he’s at his worst. He gets into things, searches out the kind of danger that left Dan anxious for days afterward.

So when Dan leaves for the day to record with Arin, he gives Danny the remote control. He shows him again where everything in the house is, and makes some rather heavy suggestions as to what he can do with his time. 

Danny nods his head quite wisely. He pretends to take Dan’s advice.

He totally goes looking around the house for something to do when Dan’s gone. A little googling brings him to a website that promises the user that they could resurrect a demon from hell – _only the best and yet most minor demons, of course._ You didn’t want to risk letting the really scary ones out of hell, after all.

Danny furrows his brows. He supposes if he isn't summoning any really dangerous demons…well. Anything that might relieve his boredom would be welcome at this point.

*** 

“No, Danny, this isn’t funny.”

“I think it’s hilarious!” Danny says overbrightly. He points at the demon that looks like the both of them – only with incredible eye makeup and big, white horns sprouting from the crown of his head. “He looks like us! Of all of the demons I could’ve conjured up, I ended up picking out a guy who looks just like you and me, how weird is that?!”

“Uh, excuse me, but I look like you only one hundred percent more awesome, you mean,” notes the demon. He blows on his shiny black claws and polishes them against his bare chest. Looking at him is an almost painful experience for Dan – it’s a version of himself that’s beyond debauched, beyond wrecked, beyond hope of salvation.

Danny’s watching him as if he’s a particularly juicy hunk of meat, of course.

“How did you do this?” Dan asks.

“I just said some words,” Danny rambles. “The usual sort, y’know for demon summoning…”

“Just…don’t say them again. I’m going to call Holly because she’s the closest thing we have to summoner in our friend’s group. Just don’t do anything weird, okay?”

“WHY DON’T YOU ASK ME NOT TO BREATHE?” Danny yells.

Dan sighs. “Don’t do anything at all. And above all, don’t make things harder and like, get him all into you and bonded to you. I want him out of the house as soon as possible!”

“Got it! No weird stuff!” 

“You aren’t crossing your fingers, are you?”

Danny rolls his eyes and holds up his hands. The demon smiles, his long black tail flicking. 

“Goody goody alert,” it says.

“Where?!” Danny blurts out, as Dan rolls his eyes and leaves the two of them there to hash out their little argument.

*** 

“Okay, Holly says there’s two things we can OH COME THE FUCK ON!” When Dan bursts through the door, Danny and the demon are settled on the bed, making out enthusiastically. 

“It’s not what it looks like!” Danny says, standing up, awkwardly covering his boner. “I was just polishing his tonsils with my tongue!”

“This is what I get for calling Satan my bro,” Dan complains, grinding his thumb into his exhausted eyes. “This is totally God like, punishing me.”

“You don’t believe in God,” Danny reminds him.

“You don’t?” the demon grins, his eyes turning bright red.

“I’m going to temple as soon as I get you back where you belong!” Dan says.

The demon pouts, and then moves toward Dan – sauntering, the tip of his red tongue poking from between his lips in a parody of flirtation. “What’s the fun in that, Dan? You know, you’ve always been one to walk on the wild side. Why don’t you take the biggest trip you’ve ever had and sit on my disco stick?”

The demon’s fingertips whisper over his chest, feather-light, but Dan can feel the heat of his hand, and it’s like being branded. He winces away and shakes his head.

“Unlike him,” he cocks his head at Danny and Danny winces at the implication, “I believe in fidelity.”

“Come on, man,” the demon laughs nervously, “we can still be friends. Danny wants to be my friend, don’t you?”

To Dan’s surprise, Danny shakes his head. “No. I can’t just run off to hell with you. Even though I’d look hot as shit when framed by flames, It’s not fair to Danny to hurt him like this. He’s the kindest, warmest, most decent man in the world,” Danny says. “And I’m sorry I didn’t see that before I got all freaky with you.”

Danny rushes across the room, away from the demon’s clutches, and he and Dan lean into one another. Dan recites the passage as the demon pleads for his life, but soon enough he melts into glitter, into dust – into nothingness.

There’s a moment of silence.

“Do you forgive me?” Danny asks.

“Kind of,” Dan says.

“I’ll take it,” Danny says, and wraps his boyfriend up in a big hug.


End file.
